patience.

i've been gone for awhile.

i wouldn't be surprised if this doesn't reach anyone at all.

if this blog were a garden, i suppose it'd look something

like the bamboo that has choked out my grandmother's circle of roses beside the driveway of our soon-to-be new old home.

i'm feeling restored now.

these days, i have more and more energy and less and less blah.

these early months of baby making has left me drained.

the onset of all the tremendous change coming our way has had me feeling raw

and chopped off at the roots.

but i am grounded again...

and the grass is lovely and plush,

spongy and green,

like an inviting bed.

i feel, deep down, i was made to artistically create.

lately, there hasn't been a whole lot of that going on.

no silver, no stones, no illustrating...

or quilting or sewing or painting

or ANY of the things i figured i would have mastered by now.

a few sketches every now and then, a few words

when something won't let me rest.

and that's it.

typically, when it comes to "getting it out" -

putting my heart down that is -

i like to do things quickly.

see results instantly.

very childlike, i know.

patience has eluded me

and creative motivation fallen flat.

of course, it doesn't hurt that all my supplies are packed neatly away in storage as we await the completion of renovations on our house.

humph.

but i still feel the pulse.

saturday, paul and i stopped by a fabulous handmade market 

in north carolina on our way to the beach.

there were so many talented artists there doing their thing.

and in my depths, a twinge.

THIS IS FOR ME...still.

though i don't know what it looks like yet.

the beautiful jj was there with her table of jewels.

it was such an inspiration to finally meet her...

such a captivating person

(with talent out the wazoo)!

i'm not in school anymore - breathe.

i think i can do this - still.

right now though, 

i am taking the time i need, my body needs,

to create thee absolute best thing that could 

possibly ever come from my life.

our baby.

and there is no shame in that.

and while it feels like i'm standing still at the moment,

everything is actually happening incredibly fast.

life is unfolding while i type this...

and that, my friends, is some kind of divine art.

lately.

i want to fly
and live in the tallest redwood tree,
i want to wash up as a shiny treasure
after being cast into the sea.

speed of life.

WOW.

fly,

sarah beth

not a moment too soon.

i'm not even sure what thoughts have been occupying my mind lately.
everything is dizzy like the wind.
my head is in the stars, wearing saturn's rings for sunglasses.

i'm 10 weeks pregnant.
it's scary to say that,
it all seems so fragile and delicate.
my secret diamond on the inside.
there is life growing.
the Creator is creating a masterpiece,
and all i have to do is eat, drink, breathe, sleep and
wait.

and we are moving.
same town, different house...
on my family's land.
the original farm house.
it's quite a bit smaller,
but it sits atop a hill as well,
with siding the color of buttery sunshine.
it has a front porch that overlooks one of the ponds.
at night you can hear the peepers in the marsh.
i know this, because it is the house i lived in when i was little.
i'm excited to plant a garden:
strawberries, blackberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, roses...
i'm really nostalgic about the whole idea.
but right now, i'm really tired of packing.
i'm a touch sad about leaving this house,
as it was our first home.
i'm mostly just tired.
i hear that's because i'm pregnant.

i'm excited about spring and all the change it brings.
everything truly is wonderful.
i just opened the front door and
big, fat warm rain drops smacked me on the cheek.

fly,

sarah beth

heavy and light.

heavy and light.

white enchantment.

surreal pristine.

blanket of diamond dust.

unstoppable.

makes me want to hug the fire.

it's been a long, cold winter.

my toes are nipped.

i'm starting to feel washed out.

bleak.

i want to feel the sun on my cheeks.

the grass under my feet.

frozen sentinels.

heavy & light.

life.

: )

freebird.

i finished this piece a few weeks ago.

i threw it together really.

i didn't plan or sketch
or spend too much time trying to make it just right.

i wanted to make something,

to relearn the tools and methods

that seemed so foreign to me.

i didn't want the pressure of perfection...

i can be down right mean to myself sometimes.

so, here she is...

she is my first actual creation in my studio.

she is rough.

she is awkward,

maybe even a little unstable.

but boy, oh boy,

IS SHE FREE!

i made her to remind myself:

to start.

to allow imperfection.

to hold on to freedom.

to fly.

oh, oh - ALSO,

my maker's mark came in the mail!!!

it's my initials...

forming a winged heart.

ahhh, i think it suits me well.

it's official.

:)

fly,

sarah beth