04 May 2010


i've been gone for awhile.
i wouldn't be surprised if this doesn't reach anyone at all.
if this blog were a garden, i suppose it'd look something
like the bamboo that has choked out my grandmother's circle of roses beside the driveway of our soon-to-be new old home.

i'm feeling restored now.
these days, i have more and more energy and less and less blah.
these early months of baby making has left me drained.
the onset of all the tremendous change coming our way has had me feeling raw
and chopped off at the roots.
but i am grounded again...
and the grass is lovely and plush,
spongy and green,
like an inviting bed.

i feel, deep down, i was made to artistically create.
lately, there hasn't been a whole lot of that going on.
no silver, no stones, no illustrating...
or quilting or sewing or painting
or ANY of the things i figured i would have mastered by now.
a few sketches every now and then, a few words
when something won't let me rest.
and that's it.
typically, when it comes to "getting it out" -
putting my heart down that is -
i like to do things quickly.
see results instantly.
very childlike, i know.
patience has eluded me
and creative motivation fallen flat.

of course, it doesn't hurt that all my supplies are packed neatly away in storage as we await the completion of renovations on our house.

but i still feel the pulse.
saturday, paul and i stopped by a fabulous handmade market 
in north carolina on our way to the beach.
there were so many talented artists there doing their thing.
and in my depths, a twinge.
THIS IS FOR ME...still.
though i don't know what it looks like yet.
the beautiful jj was there with her table of jewels.
it was such an inspiration to finally meet her...
such a captivating person
(with talent out the wazoo)!

i'm not in school anymore - breathe.

i think i can do this - still.

right now though, 
i am taking the time i need, my body needs,
to create thee absolute best thing that could 
possibly ever come from my life.
our baby.
and there is no shame in that.
and while it feels like i'm standing still at the moment,
everything is actually happening incredibly fast.
life is unfolding while i type this...
and that, my friends, is some kind of divine art.


  1. You are creating the ultimate masterpiece, indeed :)
    I am excited for you in a really big way and in awe of your body's work.


  2. I understand..... In my own life with each new chapter like Marriage & having WFT & School & Being out of School & Being at Home With WFT & Will finally getting a job. The true you deep inside some how gets redefined, you lose some things and you have the morn the losses. Yet you also gain new insight and you start to change little here and there in to the person God will use in his great love plan for the World. : ) I am proud of you! You have gone through so many changes in these pass couple of months, you may be tired yet you still are so loving and insightful... Thank you! I love ya!