...& other rare birds.

gather round all of you who are young at heart...

i have a story for you...

of the ice-cream cone coot and other rare birds

(by arnold lobel, copyright 1971)

"These Highbutton Bobolinks

Croon to the night.

One fits the left foot,

One fits the right."

"Each day you must water your Flowerpot Plume.

The buds in his bird brain are certain to bloom."

"Instead of fine feathers as most other birds,

The Newspaper Peeper is covered with words."

"All ladies agree, this bird is worth knowing.

The Pincushion Piffle will help with the sewing."

"The Gramophone Gullfinch will beautifully sing.

Just put on a record and wind up the spring."

(top to bottom)

 "This bird will tip his empty head.

He'll ask you please to fill it.

Pour tea into the Cupadee

And take care not to spill it."

"The Shuttercluck will never sing, nor will he ever fly.

But he can take your picture when he clicks his big round eye."

"Yes, all the birds inside this book

Are very strange and rare,

And I repeat, it would be hard

To find them anywhere.

So do not search your neighborhood

With cage or trap or net,

For not a single boy or girl

Has ever caught one yet."

The End.

when i was little, we would take trips to the milton public library,

and this book was one of my all time favorite selections.

i remember fumbling over the pages, no doubt with sticky kid fingers,

and my imagination would be set into motion.

i have never forgotten it.

my husband located a copy of this book for me as a Christmas gift.

i think i shall cherish it forever.

literary scholar? obviously not.

parent? nope, not yet.

but

my heart is laced with colorful shoe strings and

my soul still wears pony tails.

and even now,

when i skim through my very own copy

decorated with stains of love and age,

i carefully turn the delicate pages

and my imagination is set into motion.

fly,

sarah beth

why?

last summer i stumbled onto etsy during a google search.

last winter i decided to do some Christmas shopping the

handmade way

and came across this:

Gentled But Not Broken Ring

by thenoisyplume

{{THIS IS NOT MY DESIGN.

IT WAS MADE BY THE TALENTED JILLIAN

AT THE NOISY PLUME!}}

so, i see this image of jillian wearing this

undoubtedly beautiful ring.

 intrigued,

i decided to look at her shop and read more about this

giant piece of turquoise.

i read the description

and something inside of me understood.

so, i purchased the ring.

when it arrived, i examined it.

for the first time, i thought about jewelry as art.

i thought about it as having heart strings.

it was no different than the photos and paintings i was finding myself drawn to.

this piece of metal and stone was breathed into life in such a way that

i knew myself better.

i've had jewelry that was important to me,

but not jewelry that was LIKE me...if that makes any sense.

so, even though the ring is a 7.5 and the largest size that fits me is a 7,

i keep it and wear it anyway.

because something still and sleeping was stirred up in my chest, and

 i wanted to know how to bend silver and

how to set stones, and

everything in me that i had been trying to pour into my art

was pounding around begging to be laid in metal.

i asked my teachers what they knew about silversmithing.

i looked up videos on youtube.

around the time i graduated college,

i remember telling my husband i found a class i wanted to take.

he agreed, and

in july i was there.

by the last few days, i stayed in the studio the entire day.

the teacher would leave for lunch and dinner...

my friend and i ordered in.

i just didn't want to stop.

since then, i have slowly been stowing away cabs,

collecting supplies,

hoarding sketches,

and trying to gain confidence.

and that's where i'm stuck.

i have a studio.

more than enough supplies to begin.

plenty of ideas.

an etsy shop.

notes from people i believe in tacked to my board,

ready to enourage and inspire.

but. i'm. frozen.

why is that?

why am i so scared to fail?

why am i not living my heart?

why am i blogging right now instead of playing with my torch?

why?

has anyone else ever felt this way?

ugh.

fly,

sarah beth

dear anthropologie.

i'm wishing this will go on sale sometime in 2010.

shedding skin.

i close my eyes, and it's 2010.

2010.

This past year has held its weight with little victories, obstacles, great joys, failures, bright new ideas, fresh perspectives, old habits, new friends, and the kind of gradual change that goes unnoticed until you step back and see how different things really are.

have you ever thought..."where was i this time last year?"

"what was i doing?"

it's remarkable how many things have shaped my life

 in just the past five years.

even last year really.

i graduated college with a fine arts degree, had my first show, gained enough weight that i feel uncomfortable, traveled to south america, celebrated my one year anniversary with my husband, hit the one quarter of a century mark, transformed our house into a home, decided i wanted to make jewelry, got my first paying freelance job, quit my first paying freelance job, got a new photo studio, a new art studio, and almost lost my grandmaw.

yep.

that's 2009 for you.

the brevity of it all has been crushing me slightly.

this chain of moments upon moments, fleeting seconds.

already another has gone by.

and another.

i love a blank slate. a start over. a redo. forgiveness.

the baggage of the past can be a weighty thing when it goes unchecked.

i love the idea of a new year.

resolutions.

what am i going to do differently?

i need a schedule. i want to write those 'thank you's' and say those 'i love you's.' treat myself better. no fears, i want to just do it (i think i may have heard this somewhere before?). be a better wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend. i need to create more, plan more, plan less...

to name a few.

but here's the doozy:

by nature, i'm an over-thinker.

have been since i was kid.

we just recently watched a home video from when i was in second grade. i patiently waited my turn. i stayed in the back of the huddle until everyone else was finished talking to our teacher, mrs. brown, and giving her her Christmas gifts. the whole time i was drinking it in. you could definitely tell. i was studying. thinking. about what, i have no idea.

but i was in it.

and i still am.

which, can be a good thing.

but i think i'm in it over my head sometimes.

some things don't require thinking, as much as enjoying and feeling.

i do often tell myself:

"sarah, slow down. take it in. absorb it all til it's 
dry as a bone."

what i have an even harder time with is:

"sarah, slow down. let it go. stop obsessing. stop thinking about THAT.

please just let it go, you are missing it."

because someone once told me,

"wherever you are, be all there."

so, of all things i hope to master this year, i think i need to go back to the very basics.

stop over-thinking.

don't worry about so much. don't compare myself so frequently.

don't hesitate, don't look back.

breathe. taste. feel. touch. listen. smell. rest. work. laugh. love. cry.

don't try to wrap my head around it.

just drink it in.

the flight out.

like a midnight ocean,
restless,
little pockets of lights
dancing in its belly.

our lives grow ever smaller,
unrecognizable.
clouds of foam splash against hills,
break themsleves open,
swallowing up our diamonds.

soon an indigo expanse
silently rippling as far as my eyes can take me.
frozen it waits for the first reaches of dawn
and her brilliant light.

and i pretend we really do live at the bottom of the sea.

why, Merry Christmas!

sheets of metal,

solder,

tweezers,

hammers,

pickle,

patina,

saw blades,

stamps,

wire,

tongs,

bezel roller...

AND a partridge in a pear tree :)

oh, yes...that means...surely it's true...jewelry time in 2010!!!!

hold on to your britches!

check back in a few weeks to see my progress...or perhaps,

but hopefully not, my lack there of.

i have oh so many ideas i can't wait to share with you.

right now, life is beating with the very rhythm of my soul.

hope your Christmas was/is merry and bright...
snuggle up with your dear ones and watch those lights dance.
today is the most wonderful of birthdays!

oh, AND we're leaving saturday to shoot a wedding in california
 like a couple of hot shots (pssssh!)...

that means....see you in 2010!!!

PEACE,

sarah beth

risen with healing in His wings.

Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King,

peace on earth, and mercy mild,

God and sinners reconciled!"

Joyful, all ye nations rise,

join the triumph of the skies;

with th' angelic host proclaim,

"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"

Hark! the herald angels sing,

"Glory to the new born King!"

Christ, by highest heaven adored;

Christ, the everlasting Lord;

late in time behold Him come,

offspring of a virgin's womb.

Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;

hail th' incarnate Deity,

pleased with us in flesh to dwell,

Jesus, our Emmanuel.

Hark! the herald angels sing,

"Glory to the new born King!"

Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!

Hail the Sun of Righteousness!

Light and life to all He brings,

risen with healing in His wings.

Mild He lays His glory by,

born that we no more may die,

born to raise us from the earth,

born to give us second birth.

Hark! the herald angels sing,

"Glory to the new born King!"

thinking about the words,

letting them sink in.