27 September 2009

forever young.

four years ago today was "the call"...
you know the one,
 or maybe you don't yet,
but the kind of call that changes you at your deepest core.
the call the leaves your soul in a knot right in your throat...
making the truth almost unbearable to swallow.
the call that spins the room into slow motion.

we met in anatomy class and became friends at an away game.
he was diagnosed with cancer our senior year.
they say he beat it.

a true blue-
like family-
no pretending-
best friend-
kind of friend.
the one i compare other friendships to.
one of my truest friends and greatest blessings.
i carry him with me deep in my heart,
tangled up in love,
tucked into some of the happiest places my memory leads me...
and some of the hardest.
i'm at peace, but it's amazing how fresh it can seem.
at times, i suppose it always will.

it's hard, too, you know...
knowing he'll never be older.
knowing he'll never hold his babies.
knowing he'll never meet paul,
especially because i know they'd be great friends.

but God is sovereign.

what i mean by all this is:
love on your people.
love on them until your eyes are heavy...
then fall asleep holding them in your heart.
be a sponge of the soul...
soak them up, and saturate them with everything you have.
i know it's hard.
i am constantly reminding myself,
but life is short and love is abundant.
say your heart NOW.
forgive. forgive. forgive.
build them up.
tell them they are IRREPLACEABLE.
because they are.
and they need to know it.

have wrestling matches with him.
cry with him.
laugh with him everyday, because, let's face it,
he makes your heart light and your smile shine.
hold his hand when he is scared.
build a tent in your living room with him.
watch his favorite movies, even if they are terrible.
listen to what he is afraid of.
let him listen to you.
let him hold your head during your first migraine.
wear sombreros with him to dairy queen.
tell him you love him and that everything is okay.
tell him he's changed everything.

an entire life represented by the smallest dash.
what about your dash?
what will you remember?
what will you leave?
no regrets.

if you have the time,
these are worth your while:



  1. I'm crying....I miss him and the only closest thing is ever going to be....YOU!! LUBNU from near or far, from the U.S. or the other side of the world...You will always be the one :)

  2. The memories you talk about in this (the tent in the living room, sombreros at Dairy Queen, etc.) - I wasn't a part of those, but I'll never forget how animated and excited he was telling me about those memories.