16 October 2009

today. i. feel. defeated.

i just stood outside in cold grey watching my breath crumble as i hollered for armani to come inside. he was having a pissing match with the neighbor's dog (who was running loose, as always). normally, i find it endearing that my 15 lb. fluff ball of a dog tries to stand his ground against sheep dogs and labradors much larger than he. today, not so much.
i felt invisible and ignored by my own dog.

my eyes feel hot and unsteady.
my hands incapable. my strength inadequate.
and my tooth aches.

i feel like i am watching others succeed while i sit on my hands.
i can't seem to get it together.
i am sucking at life.

i wish the sun would come out.
i'll feel better tomorrow.


  1. cheer up buttercup! pit is happening tonight!!

  2. it comes and goes, this watching from the sidelines thing. You'll be up and running soon. hugs from carolina.

  3. Oh man Sarah, Must be the moon. I was right there with ya and funny it was the dog's at my house that were mainly the source. I have my own two and three extra. Like a house full of somebody else's kids. I can't even walk it off, my usual remedy. The old ball and chain. I made some pretty things and stayed in my studio trying to escape my reality :) I'm feeling better and I hope you are too. I know you're supposed to live in the moment but frankly I'm holding my breath til Sun. when it's all over.
    Sending sunshine......please take some, it was nearly 100 today.

  4. amanda - i am so grateful for you. you are a God send...thanks for helping me forget i was miserable :)

    jj - i'll take those hugs any day...thank you for your support and for being here from the beginning! xols

    rochelle - i have made peace with my pup and no longer wish to strangler his furry neck! feeling much better, thank you and warm wishes :)