16 October 2009

today. i. feel. defeated.

i just stood outside in cold grey watching my breath crumble as i hollered for armani to come inside. he was having a pissing match with the neighbor's dog (who was running loose, as always). normally, i find it endearing that my 15 lb. fluff ball of a dog tries to stand his ground against sheep dogs and labradors much larger than he. today, not so much.
i felt invisible and ignored by my own dog.

my eyes feel hot and unsteady.
my hands incapable. my strength inadequate.
and my tooth aches.

i feel like i am watching others succeed while i sit on my hands.
i can't seem to get it together.
i am sucking at life.

i wish the sun would come out.
i'll feel better tomorrow.

5 comments:

  1. cheer up buttercup! pit is happening tonight!!

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  2. it comes and goes, this watching from the sidelines thing. You'll be up and running soon. hugs from carolina.

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  3. Oh man Sarah, Must be the moon. I was right there with ya and funny it was the dog's at my house that were mainly the source. I have my own two and three extra. Like a house full of somebody else's kids. I can't even walk it off, my usual remedy. The old ball and chain. I made some pretty things and stayed in my studio trying to escape my reality :) I'm feeling better and I hope you are too. I know you're supposed to live in the moment but frankly I'm holding my breath til Sun. when it's all over.
    Sending sunshine......please take some, it was nearly 100 today.

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  4. amanda - i am so grateful for you. you are a God send...thanks for helping me forget i was miserable :)

    jj - i'll take those hugs any day...thank you for your support and for being here from the beginning! xols

    rochelle - i have made peace with my pup and no longer wish to strangler his furry neck! feeling much better, thank you and warm wishes :)

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